The Wounded-Courier Editorial: Why Obama's Bowling Would've Lost Dr. King's Support (satire)

"I don’t know whether to kill myself or go bowling."
- Unknown

On this day, the 40th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s death, we believe there is no better time to address Sen. Barack Obama's pitiful bowling display this week in Pennsylvania.

First, though The Wounded-Courier has not endorsed any candidate for president, after witnessing Mr. Obama toss that gutter ball again and again on that 24-hour media loop, let’s just say we are officially not endorsing him.

Why? It's only bowling, you say?

Well, it wasn't only bowling to Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Delano Roosevelt and John F. Kennedy, all of whom (as most Americans know) not only looked comfortable in their bright stripped shoes and loved those miniature pencils, but actually based their foreign policies on proven bowling techniques and strategies.

While Dr. King laid the groundwork for a black man to run for president in 2008, we're sure that even Dr. King would conclude that any man or woman – black, white, brown, yellow or purple – must keep that bowling ball out of the gutter if he or she is truly ready to lead America.

Dr. King did not give his life so one day some bowling delinquent like Barack Obama could land in the White House. (And if there isn’t a law against bowling with a tie on, we believe there should be.) King knew how crucial bowling was to not only improving US foreign policy and ensuring national security but to helping the poor, upgrading education, fixing our healthcare system and keeping the economy strong.

But he also knew America was not ready at the time to have an honest discussion about the issue of bowling. In fact, while some of his aides and confidantes, including Andrew Young and Harry Belafonte, pressed King to incorporate bowling into his "I Have a Dream" speech, King, in the end, believed it would be too controversial. Even in his "Beyond Vietnam" address, as he assailed US actions in Southeast Asia and gross neglect of the poor here at home, he dared not suggest bowling as a remedy for what ailed our nation.

But few people know that in earlier drafts of this speech, the line "A time comes when silence is betrayal" originally read, "A time comes when silence is betrayal and bowling is the only path to right a nation’s wrongs."

There are those who see a bowling ball and ask, "Why is this thing so f***ing heavy?" We see Barack Hussein Obama delivering a gutter ball and ask, “How do you expect to protect America?"

Comments

[Brad Jacobson]

Why Obama's Bowling Would've Lost Dr. King's Support

[Patrick]

This is a joke, right? And a stupid, racist one too!

[Michael]

As one who wrote about the Obama's less than perfect bowling technique, I was amazed at those who tried to treat these accounts as some sort of dark metaphor for ... well, what? The man is clearly a jock; it just so happens that basketball not ten pins is his game. I wrote about it as one of many theater of the absurd moments on the trail. If the candidate takes it in good humor, which he most certainly did, it's just a fun moment, a brief light shining on the essential absurdity of the whole enterprise of campaigning for president.

Anyway, this send-up was amusing.