MediaBloodhound: The Wounded-Courier: "Civil War" Makes Media Rethink English Language

On the heels of the media debate about whether to use the term “civil war” to describe the conflict in Iraq, The Wounded-Courier has uncovered a wave of new editorial decisions regarding previously accepted terminology. Each news organization has confirmed that announcement of these decisions will be forthcoming in the following week. Here are some of those key changes and their respective explanations:

Media Outlet: The New York Times
Old Term = Murder
New Term = Elimination

“While use of the term ‘murder’ is long-standing, it’s a rather ghastly phrase that may unnecessarily evoke horrors far worse than what that act might imply. Plenty of us, for example, know that many people throughout history have been murdered for good reason. Our fear, as a newspaper with great influence, is that if we continue to use this word indiscriminately we risk turning off far more readers before finishing an article than if we were to employ a less unsettling word. ‘Elimination’ serves us well here. Though I want to make it clear that the phrase ‘murder’ may still be used when justified. The New York Times will leave this, of course, up to the discretion of our seasoned journalists. As the Paper of Record, we owe it to our readers to leverage language with which they feel most comfortable.”

- Bill Keller, executive editor of The New York Times

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Media Outlet: Fox News
Old Term = Rape
New Term = Aggressive Dancing

“Well, we’ve bandied this one about for years over here at Fox News. Most of us, Geraldo and O’Reilly included, have agreed for a long time that the word ‘rape’ unfairly saddles men. I mean the lesbian lobby has used this unfairly for years. It has become nothing more than a castration tool. Then, women turn around and cry that men are too liberal, er, uh, I mean soft in the sack. Additionally, for others, the word automatically brings to mind genitalia and it’s simply unfit for broadcast on that level. We at Fox News are proud to announce our designation of ‘aggressive dancing’ to replace this sexist word. Correctly, it denotes an overly assertive act without casting aspersions on men everywhere. We think it will make America stronger and will deliver on the kind of traditional values and fairness and balance that our viewers demand.”

- Brit Hume, Washington, D.C. managing editor of Fox News

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Media Outlet = USA Today
Old Term = Death
New Term = New Beginning

“Traditionally, our readers have turned our multicolored pages and delved into our in-depth articles with relish. But as the world becomes a more and more dangerous place, we have noticed a slight drop in our readership. After much deliberation, we’ve decided that the word ‘death’ is unnecessarily depressing. There’s a finality to it that pushes readers away rather than draws them in. Therefore, going forward, ‘new beginning’ will be used in its place. Like the fine line between tragedy and comedy, we at USA Today think it’s time to acknowledge the razor’s edge between death and whatever it is that follows. ‘New beginning’ gives hope where ‘death’ never could. Whether it’s a grandfather in Des Moines or an 18-year-old U.S. soldier in Iraq, we think we owe it to them to present their untimely passing in the brightest possible light.”

- John Hillkirk, co-executive editor of USA Today

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Media Outlet = CNN
Old Term = War Criminal
New Term = Pundit Royalty

“This is Wolf Blitzer coming to you from The Situation Room. Two words. ‘War criminal.’ Two more words. Henry Kissinger. Some say he is one. But we would disagree. I’ve interviewed him many times over the years and I’ve seen no evidence during my multiple interactions with Dr. Kissinger of any war criminal activity. What I have witnessed is the workings of an extraordinary guest with an extraordinary mind. In the future, I imagine a more recently purported war criminal, Donald Rumseld, might follow in his footsteps. To coincide with our findings, CNN has decided to drop the term ‘war criminal’ altogether in favor of the more accurate designation ‘pundit royalty.’ If brilliant strategic military thinking - not to mention an uncanny flair to chew up an hour like nobody’s business - makes someone a war criminal, then I’m not a journalist. Dr. Kissinger and others have earned this appellation. And our viewers, as always, have entrusted us to bring them the truth.”

- Wolf Blitzer, CNN anchor and host of The Situation Room