One day after President Bush likened presumptive Democratic nominee Barack Obama to those who appeased Adolph Hitler, the ghost of the president's grandfather, Prescott Bush - in an SS uniform, muttering German and gesticulating angrily - has been hovering high above the White House since dawn.
An anonymous Bush administration staffer said the White House initially believed MoveOn.org, which many administration officials have compared to Hamas, had orchestrated the specter of Bush's grandfather. (Prescott Bush, a true American hero, helped fund Hitler's war machine and, as the BBC revealed last year, co-conspired to overthrow President Roosevelt to create a Nazi-style government in America.) But MoveOn.org spokesman Adam Green denied his organization's involvement, saying, "Dude, if we could do that, we would've done it a long, long time ago. We would've saved a lot of money."
Prescott's ghost has attracted crowds of onlookers who might otherwise have taken the usual long-distance gaze at the White House before moving on to the Capitol's heavily trafficked monuments. One dumbstruck eyewitness, Stanley Huffle, a history professor at American University, said, 'It's as if history and karma have merged."
Around noon, the National Guard attempted to shoot down Prescott's ghost or at least disperse him to a less visible area. But the bullets merely sailed through his shadowy form, only seeming to further inflame his rhetoric. A passing German tourist quoted him as saying, "Our failure to please the fuhrer has led directly to this point in history, where a schwartze might be president, homosexuals can marry in California, and bagels are more commonplace than f***ing Wonder Bread!"
Following yesterday's heated Hardball confrontation between host Chris Matthews and right-wing radio personality Kevin James, James returned to discuss Prescott's ghost with Matthews.
"You see, Chris, like I said yesterday, Obama is an appeaser," began James. "Fine. Whatever," replied Matthews. "Just tell me whose ghost is floating above the White House right now."
"Look, Chris, an appeaser appeases those who make use of appeasement, which leaves us vulnerable to another 9/11-style attack." Matthews repeated, "I've asked you a simple question. Who is hovering sixty feet above our White House, sir?"
"But that's not the point, Chris. Appeasement--" "Listen, you mutant, just answer the question. You don't know. Do you? Do you?" "Of course I do, Chris. It's the, the...ghost of appeasement's past or something."
"Wow. Wow. You really just lucked into that, didn't you? Just stepped right in it."
"If luck means appeasement, then yes."
"You're an idiot. Thanks for coming on."
"Thank you, Chris."
During an impromptu White House press conference, press secretary Dana Perino told reporters, "First, let me start by saying that though some candidates think the afterworld revolves around them, the appearance of Prescott's ghost over the White House has nothing to do with President Bush's speech in the Knesset yesterday."
Veteran White House reporter Helen Thomas replied, "Sure. Pay no attention to the man behind the cloud."