The Wounded-Courier: McCain Targets "Sadrists" Stewart and Colbert

After recent gaffes confusing Sunnis and Shiites, John McCain has now mixed up Sadrists - followers of Iraqi Shiite militia leader Muqtada al-Sadr - with satirists.

Aboard his campaign plane yesterday afternoon, the Republican presidential candidate answered a question about the dangers of Sadrists waging an all-out war on US troops, saying, "Well, here's some straight talk for you - I think Sadrists like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have been waging a war on our troops for years. And it's about time, my friends, that we face this reality and confront them head-on."

Attempting to correct the Arizona senator, New York Times journalist Elizabeth Bumiller, the reporter who had asked him the question, said, "Uh, Senator. I don't think Stewart and Colbert are the Sadrists I was referring to."

But McCain, vigorously reiterating his position, replied, "Well, maybe not. But they're two of the most popular out there. Ratings are high, kids love 'em. Here's some more straight talk - I've been on Jon's show but I'll admit I was wrong to do it, and I hope my Democratic opponents will have the courage to denounce their associations with him, too. The point is, anyone with military chops knows the best strategy for victory is to cut the snake off at the head. My friends, it's time we take these jokers out."

When Bumiller tried to correct him one last time, McCain erupted, "Look, I don't come to your office at the Times, elbow my way threw that Third World newsroom of Marxist homosexual terrorists, and stand over your desk telling you how to type! So, please - please - my friend, don't tell me how to win a war!"

Senator Joe Lieberman (?!-CT), a fixture at McCain's side throughout his presidential run, was unable to step forward this time and whisper facts into McCain's ear as he did during one of the two previous Sunni-Shiite blunders. Lieberman, observing the Passover holiday, had relegated himself to the Kosher for Passover section of the campaign aircraft.

Stephen Colbert, who responded in character during the taping of Thursday's scheduled Colbert Report, said, "This is further proof that Senator John McCain has what it takes to lead this country - a limited yet firm grip of the facts, a tenuous hold on reality, and Bunyanesque balls of stainless steel. Senator McCain, if posing as your patsy to win this war is wrong, then I don't want to be right. Hand me a Crave Case of White Castles and an elephant tranquilizer gun, and I'll take down Michael Moore for you, sir!"

When notified of John McCain's comment on the set of The Daily Show, host Jon Stewart stammered, loosened his tie and said, "Huh...is it hot in here, or is it me?" Breaking into a Woody Allen impression, he then added, "Well, I, uh, that's very interesting. You'll have to excuse me. I, I seem to remember I, I have a plane to catch...to Peru."

On MSNBC's Hardball last night, guest John Amato, proprietor of the popular blog Crooks and Liars, said, "So now we know what to expect. George W. Bush averted attention away from al Qaeda and Afghanistan to attack Iraq, and John McCain wants to avert attention away from the Sadrists to attack the satirists. You know, Chris, if Terry Southern and Stanley Kubrick were alive today, they wouldn't need a script."

But MSNBC commentator Pat Buchanan countered, "Look, what we have here is a case of turning lemons into lemonade. Did McCain confuse Sadrists and satirists? Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. But whatever happened, he brought attention to a growing problem - homegrown insurgents, like Stewart and Colbert, who are doing our troops a grave disservice. I'm with McCain, I say take 'em out."

McCain, however, did note that he would spare 70-year-old comedy legend Rich Little, considering both Little's magnanimous White House Correspondents Dinner routine the year following, as the senator put it, "Mr. Colbert's Tet Offensive of comedy," and because he considers Little more an impressionist than a Sadrist.

Swatting at imaginary flies above his head for a moment, McCain then added, "He's one Sadrist who's proved his loyalty to the United States and I honor him for his service."

Comments

[Brad Jacobson]

McCain Targets "Sadrists" Stewart and Colbert

[Craig R. Lane]

Edited by site owner. Sorry, no incitements to violence allowed here.

[cindi]

"SATIRISTS, Sen. McCain ... not SADRISTS; humorists in America, not followers of a cleric in Iraq. SAT-IR-ISTS".

"Ooooooh, that's very different. Never mind".

Grandpa McCain is a wonderful reminder of those glorious bygone days of Saturday Night Live. Pure comedy gold, he is.

Also ... which of the TEN appearances on The Daily Show does he think was a mistake?

[John Q]

Of course, Jon Stewart has never attacked our troops - just the morons who put thm in harm's way for no good reason.

Can't wait to see the Daily Show take on this particular piece of foolishness!

[frankie]

John McSame is a reminder of alzheimers and ronald regan. Isn't a pretty picture

[Big Al]

I hope this is humor. Right?

[Batocchio]

The thing is, this is the attitude of authoritarian conservatives... ;-)

[Steve]

Where are your sources?

I cannot find any reference to this post except other blogs with the same story and no sources. Please list your sources so I can forward this to those who would think McCain a thoughtful legislator.

[Brad Jacobson]

Steve, it's satire. The Wounded-Courier on MBH is satire. It's tagged "satire" and "political satire" at the bottom of the post. Sorry for the confusion. Sometimes The Wounded-Courier pieces cut pretty close to the bone and people get confused. Don't feel bad. That's just a reflection on the state of our country right now. Cheers.

[Steve]

OH! Thanks for the correction. Also, darn... ;-)