Story of the Day: The Most Busted Name in News

Bernard Shaw, an original CNN anchor for two decades who retired in 2001, recently voiced his frustration with his former employer's qualitative slide. On the Chicago PBS affiliate WTTW-Channel 11, Shaw said, "I'm very, very disappointed with the way the news management at my favorite network has gone….CNN continues to ape many of the on-air mannerisms of the Fox News Network, and I don't like that."

Shocking, huh? Did his retirement package prohibit public criticism for a specified number of years? And how apropos that Shaw’s statement is made via public television. God forbid our national news networks allow for long overdue constructive self-criticism. (My kingdom for a TV news ombudsman!) 

So it should be no surprise either that the “Most Trusted Name in News” is quite Fox-like online as well, if not moreso. Stopping by CNN’s website last night, before hopping over to Fox News’ homepage, reminded me of just how difficult it is to tell the two apart.

And with that in mind, it’s time to play The Hard News Challenge (cue generic game show music): OK, which group of last night’s “latest” top news stories (not to be confused with "most popular") are from Fox News’ website and which are from CNN’s [editor’s note: I’ve omitted one story because it gives away the answer]?

• 6.8 Earthquake Strikes Off Guatemalan Coast
• White House Ex-Aides Subpoenaed
• Shiites Hit Back After Mosque Bomb
• Sextuplets’ Mom Suffers Heart Failure
• Golfer, 76, Saves Drowning Dog, Plays 18 Holes
• Tape: 911 Operators Did Little to Help Dying Woman
• Lightning Shreds Pants on Man Mowing Lawn
• Bush Calls Time on Stolen Watch Story
• Britney Spears’ Mom: She’s “Just Figuring Things Out”
• 1800s Weapon Found Embedded in Whale’s Blubber
• Baby Fight “More Than Worth It,” Birkhead Says

• 6.8 Quake Strikes Off Coast of Guatemala
• Stocks Rally to Best Day of the Year
• Teacher Resigns After Garter-Belt Pose
• Harriet Miers Subpoenaed in Firings Probe
• Atlantis Spacewalk
• 911 Operators Refuse to Aid Dying Woman
• Researchers Use Protein to Reverse MS
• Doctors ID Early Signs of Ovarian Cancer

All right, contestants, that sound means time is up. You're welcome to use your lifelines if you have any left. But this must be your final answer. If you thought Fox was bringing you news of a sprightly dog-saving septuagenarian golfer, a heart-failing mother of sextuplets, a pants-shredding lightning experience, supportive words from Britney’s mom, an antique unearthed in whale fat, and a quote from the father of Anna Nicole’s love child, you would be...wrong. I'm sorry. Thanks for playing. But congratulations to those who will advance to the speed round.

First, these words: Yes, that group of hard news stories was courtesy of CNN. You know your standards are hitting shale when Fox is out hard-newsing you.

But wait, here are some of today's latest breaking stories from CNN’s website:

• Woman Faces Jail in Toilet Paper Theft
• Ex-Husband Wants Frozen Embryos Tossed
• Why Isaiah Washington Was Let Go from “Grey’s”

All right, we're back. And now for the speed round of The Hard News Challenge. Due to their serious nature, which two top stories from last night remain on CNN's website?

• Baby Fight “More Than Worth It,” Birkhead Says
• Golfer, 76, Saves Drowning Dog, Plays 18 Holes

Congratulations to everyone who guessed correctly! And thanks again for playing.

I'm guessing it must be a slow news week in Darfur, Chad, Gaza, Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt, Russia, China and Iran. Oh, and in America, too.

But at least we're having fun, right?

[Correction: "9/11 Operators Refuse to Aid Dying Woman" should've read "911 Operators Refuse to Aid Dying Woman," which it does now. That was a typo on my part. Sorry for the confusion. To the commenter pointing out that "9/11" is a dead Fox giveaway, a) it surely would've been, b) nice catch and c) maybe it's still an example of the insidious psychological effect of having "9/11" drilled into my head all these years.] 

Comments

[MediaBloodhound]

The Most Busted Name in News

[ajwood]

Yee-Gawd, the entire contest could have been held in Paris at the Hilton.
In other news, Bill O’Reilly recently had to explain what ratings are and their meaning.
Scooter Libby's son's are memorizing visiting hours while President Bush takes a step back to allow the justice system to work.

Could a quagmire sprout legs and think locally but act a fool globally?

[Desi]

Woman Faces Jail in Toilet Paper Theft

You'd expect to see this headline in The Onion. Except it's not even worthy of a lead Onion article. How sad is that?

[big brother]

I am unplugged from TV. I get my news on the blogs in a time of my chosing. Paying to watch commercials and the cable rates. I do ot read newspapers except on line. We should all start a media BOYCTT like we did with grapes ubtil our news is at least on a plane with Germany. I get so mad when I watch commercial T.V. I have to jog to calm down. My life is 200% better now and I have time to read, listen to music and get out.

[Jil In Pattaya]

Well, blame what CNN's top stories are on CNN.com readers: They are the ones doing the clicking.

Besides... I'm sorry, but that "1800s Weapon Found Embedded in Whale’s Blubber" story was REALLY interesting!

[Obliviobvious]

(1) You can identify the Fox News list using a simple sorting device: Sexual innuendo.

"Teacher Resigns After Garter-Belt Pose"

Fox News usually reports on the more scintillating stories and CNN avoids them.

(2) You can also sort by use of a left/right political spectrum. Most Fox News stories are reported with a tag line that leans to the right or attacks the left. There are also very few headlines that would suggest the government is doing anything less than a perfect job:

"Stocks Rally to Best Day of the Year"
- Damn! Bush's policy is making us rich!

"Atlantis Spacewalk"
- Wi R Teh Roxxorz!

"9/11 Operators Refuse to Aid Dying Woman"
- Never trust big government, they can't
help you.

"Researchers Use Protein to Reverse MS"
- Fox will highlight any evidence that we
don't need stem cells.

"Doctors ID Early Signs of Ovarian Cancer"
- Again, no stem cells needed here!

The outlier? Fox actually named Harriet Miers as the person being subpoenaed. I would have thought the Fox News headline would have been that found on CNN's website, reading "White House Ex-Aides Subpoenaed."

Then again, the Fox headline does suggest that only one person was subpoenaed, when in fact there are multiple.

Either way, both websites are vulgar attempts at reporting "news". They are shameful American institutions.

[Blue Buddha]

9/11 Operators Refuse to Aid Dying Woman

That headline is obviously from FOX. Compare it to the CNN headline:

Tape: 911 Operators Did Little to Help Dying Woman

See the difference? The FOX News one writes it out as "9/11", not "911"... a not so subtle way of repeating Sept. 11th over and over again.

[Pile]

To paraphrase the Bush administration, "Television, specifically network news, is irrelevant."

[Asiren]

Actually, the outlier isn't an outlier at all. CNN called it "White House Ex-Aides Subpoenaed." which links the WH directly to the story. Naming Harriet Miers removes any mention of the WH, and for those FOX news viewers, their short memories have probably forgotten what she was getting done for anyway.

[Mellifluous]

The worst part there is that the "911" refers to emergency operators, not operators during September 11.

They lie because that's their life's air support.

[MediaBloodhound]

"9/11" catch would've been spot-on, Blue Buddha. (See "Correction" above.) Unfortunately it's my typo - I couldn't copy and paste from the screenshot I took, so I had to retype each headline. Though, as I mention in my Correction, I wouldn't be surprised if years of Fox (and the WH) beating the "9/11" drum had something to do with me not noticing this.

[me]

Ronald Reagan, may he rot in hell forever, is responsible for this. His "deregulation" of the media sparked this race to the bottom. It also led to the current corporate media monopoly we're suffering under, which of course led directly to Bush and his war.

[edrita]

Please don't bother CNN. They're very busy on the animal trail--links all from today, June 19th:

Accused snake-stealer bitten, hospitalized
Football-sized tumor removed from dog
1,300-pound steer falls on farmer
Dog inspires new pesticide law
Man who fed puppy to snake gets 90 days
Alligator pulled from home
Big gator pulled from house; 20 snakes in attic
Million-mile cat

Thank God that whole Darfur thing has been resolved.......